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Mood: Indifferent
Listening to: Delta Goodrem - Angels in the Room


all of yesterday i was wishing and hoping that today would come a lot quicker. i was so excited to go shopping for christmas presents that i just couldn't wait any longer. now that i've been im less than satisfied. i did well and shopping was fun but something or some part of me feels empty today.

it started this morning when i jumped on the scales and saw that i had lost another 0.4kgs, something that would normally delight me, just made me sad. this struggle with my weight seems neverending, and though i keep thinking about the rewards and health benefits, i cant seem to find a reason not to eat a block of chocolate.

this general state of being usually comes in waves, some small some big, this one doesnt seem to want to leave.

i feel as though i lack people in my life. i dont survive well when i have to rely on just myself, i get by, dont get me wrong, but the emotional support is what i really need... and i just cant seem to open up to anyone. truth be told, what is there to say? how do you put into words a feeling that just makes you feel less than everyone else and unworthy of the people you do have.

i cant seem to get away from the person i use to be. i know that underneath it all there is someone else who its completely different, but most people just dont want to see it. im tired of being put in a little box and left.

today i am unimportant and lost.