im having one of those nights, im finding it hard to pick myself up. i think im clouded, i dont really know who i can trust and who my friends are. im worried that to some, im just another girl on the wrong side of the screen. i find it hard to gain friendship with people, but when i do i try to hold on as best as can.. but its getting harder to do that. most people have clicks, those are hard to break into, no matter how much you try. i think what i lack most in my life is support. maybe a bit of understanding too.. ive spent so many years being my own rock, helping myself out as best i can but i feel like i need more now. and i try so hard to reach out to people, try and find some sort of middle ground but lately im slipping.
i want to be important to someone. i want to b able to say that i matter and that somewhere there is a person that cares about my day. that would miss me if i went somewhere, that looks forward to my company. but i dont know how to make a connection with someone. i feel like, in all the year of being alone and self sufficient, ive closed off so many doors and ive put myself on a different shelf from everyone else.. and i cant really see a way back anymore.
wouldnt it be nice if the rain fell and seeped straight through your skin, washed all the things you keep in
14 comments:
Oh Steph!!!
Hunni you do matter, you definately matter to me!
I love coming to visit your blog, you are so clever and I often come to see if you have updated your blog, as I love to do with everyone on my list...
Please don't think you don't matter - you are very important to me, as are all of my friends I have made so far.
I'm not sure if the clicks you are referring to are from WW, or from any other forums or things you may belong to, but I definately do consider you as part of my click hehe...not that I have one!!
But you are part of my circle of friends.
Cheer up sweetie, if you ever need to talk you know where to find me.
Hope your day is better today.
Sending you lots of love and hugs.
x
Steph hun
Oh baby girl, you matter to me too!! I hate the thought of you thinking like that sweets!!!!!!!!
Like Miss B said I don't know if you're referring to the WW forums or your own personal friends but I do consider you as one of my friends. I love the support and friendship that I get from you girls and that definitely includes you Steph. I love coming to visit your blog. You're unique and creative, you are just WOW hun.
Congratulations on your loss this week 1.2 kg, whoo hoo, you supergirl you!
You can talk to me anytime, I'm here for you.
luv
Anne
xoxoxoxox
PS Steph, I personally hate "clicks", it reminds me of high school ewwwwwwwww don't wanna go back there again! So many little groups. Arrggghhhh, no thank you!!
oxoxoxox
A
Steph,
Hey babe, I totally agree with the girls. You are part of our journeys and we all know that we couldn't do it without the support of our friends. You are definately part of that. I love reading your blog and look forward to see what you have written. You are so amazing! You are so talented! You are a friend! Don't ever feel like you are anything less!
Lots of Hugs
Cass
xxx
Oh Steph honey you matter to a lot of people! Look at all these people taking the time to check in on you and I to adore coming to your blog to see what you are up to... You are gorgeous and talented and have the world to offer...
Steph when you have been your own rock for so long eventually that will crumble... You need to learn to reach out to people and learn it is ok to need others... Trust me I am in the same boat...
Everyone is here for you and we love you to bits... You are worth it and mean the world to so many people around here :)
L♥ve mE xxxxxxx
Hey steph....you need to send me your email addy so that I can invite you to my blog!!
Steph - don't ever think that you don't matter! Of course you do! There are many amazing people out there in the world and you are one of them! You are gorgeous, talented and most of all a great support to your friends!
Don't ever be afraid to go out and meet new people, or hide your personality and it's a great one and people will want to be around you!!
xx Shelley
thank you girls, you are so wonderful to me.
i am feeling a bit better now, i was having a bit of a dark day. it happens to the best of us!
Shelle - my email is rhys.steph@hotmail.com
Oh Steph, your post echoed the past couple of years of my life. It's amazing what people come out of the woodwork when they need something..
P.S. I knew you were fabulous, I *heart* Shisedo too!
REALLY??? so many people dont know what it is!! LOL i love that site. im getting a membership there soon.
so glad you came over to my blog ^__^ im going to add you as a friend on my list!
btw if you have msn and want to talk or just want to email my email address is:
rhys.steph@hotmail.com
Sorry this finds you so long after you posted but like everyone else here who knows how great you are...You matter to me too!
I love our friendship and our emailing... I check my personal email most days to see if you, almost like a magical little fairy have dropped a little note into my inbox.
Hope your feeling better now.
Lots of love,
Marisa xxcc
Steph you are important too me...alays will be I love your emails and your litle pictures..and I like you for who you are...we al have little insecurities and sometimes they can cloud our judgement but I know where you are coming from in this thing called clicks I hate them with a vengence...as you feel ike you dont belong...but honey..you do...I am your friend...always...after all who drew me that gorgeous picture when I was going to have the operation...you did...that shows how much of a heart and so much to offer people...I am blessed to know you sweetie..so are so many others..
Berrie xx
I too Steph care...you do matter!!
We all have dark days where all the insecurities come out and visit us all.
I love seeing all the support you give out on the forums...and the little pictures you have sent your friends...thats shows how sweet and caring you are.
Jen
Hi Steph you are important to me and so many other people, i am happy that you are my new friend and that we will be there for each other through our weight loss journeys.
take care sweetie
Love Renee xox
Steph, I'm not going to read any of the other comments til after I've added mine because I might forget what I want to say...ditzy head...
Sweetie you brought tears to my eyes. You have so much going for you and you have heaps of people who think you are sooo amazing. Make no mistake about it hun...you have me and I'M the one hanging on to YOU for grim death. You'll not get rid of me little one. Your friendship matters soooo very much to me and come hell or high water, you've got me for life unless YOU ditch ME. I am honoured to receive your emails and just the thought of you melts my heart and I wish I were close enough to give you a cuddle when-ever you are feeling so grim. I love 'hearing about your life, Rhys,puppy, pancake, your highs and lows. Know you can email me as much as you wan't and I will be delighted in hearing from you.
So young'n, we're buddies for life or until you decide otherwise and if that should occur I will be truly honoured to have had you in my life. Chin up...toy xoxo
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